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Borrowed from New Yorker. Titled Feelings Barn

Most of us grow up with experiences that tell us, either outright or not, that our feelings aren’t allowed. Perhaps you’ve experienced this at some point. Perhaps you’ve experienced someone – mother, father, partner – who suggested or actually said your feelings and emotions are invalid. It could be as simple as “boys don’t cry,” or “there’s no reason to be so upset.” Yet, there you are, upset and wanting to cry or be angry. This is the experience for most of us at some point.

It doesn’t have to be.

Your feelings and emotions are something over which you have no control. They are valid because you feel them and if you could control them, you would have long ago. Your feelings and emotions tell a story about how you feel. They are an invitation to not only know about yourself but also get closer to others.

Feelings and emotions are our way to know our true wants and desires and needs, to our true selves. If we listen to them, to the sadness or anxiety or joy, we can learn more about who we are. And the more we understand who we are, the more confidant and secure we are.

And not only are our feelings and emotions important to who we are, they are important to connecting to others. They are a way for others to get closer to us, to understand us, and to care for and about us. The vulnerability it takes to share them is the very thing that creates lasting relationships.

To learn more about unlocking the feelings’ barn, call today!